The Modern Siren

Those who want help save marriage from ending in divorce need to PULL it together.

It is a hard thing to watch a marriage that was once so precious and important fall apart. It’s heart breaking to sit by as the two of you start going your separate ways. If you don’t want that to happen then do something about it. Pull it together to help save marriage.

Chill out:
Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. Take a moment to catch your breath and give it a moment to cool off. When you were young you were probably told to count to 10 when you got angry so that you could give yourself a chance to get yourself under control.

The same principle applies here. Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.

Understand what is happening:
While you are “chilling out” and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. This is where you try and look at the big picture and then look at things from other perspectives. From where you are standing at the moment things may look pretty bad. Try to look at it from other perspectives and it might not be as bad as you thought.

Try looking at it from an outsiders perspective and from the one you love. From those other perspectives you might find out why things have been getting out of control. There may be a relatively simple solution to help save marriage.

Laugh at yourselves:
This doesn’t mean to make light of the situation but it does mean don’t take yourselves so seriously. It is easy to make mountains out of mole hills. Things snowball out of control but when you are able to see what it was that actually made the snowball you may end up laughing at it.

It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn’t have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, “Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!” Why wait?

Look for ways to improve:
Once you have had a chance to step back and catch your breath and then been able to get some perspective on the situation, you can move on. When you have realized that at it’s root, this situation or problems that you have been struggling with is really small and manageable you can get things on track.

The next thing that you need to do is commit yourself to finding a way to improve. If you are responsible for the little things that get blown out of proportion, then try stopping it. If you have learned that you overreact, then stop it. Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage.

To help save marriage, PULL together and bring back what belongs together…the two of you.

This topic and more is discussed in the Magic of Making Up ebook. Learn the right and wrong things to do to get your ex back here

This morning my kids saved me some bacon.

Now, this might seem to be an odd statement to start with you so let me fill you in:

My dad always told me that it’s just as expensive to cook a pound of bacon as it is to cook a couple of strips. And I’ve followed that advice, literally, all of my life. Whenever I cooked bacon I cooked the whole package and what I didn’t eat went into a container and was saved in the fridge for another time.

Then I was married… then there were kids. And my whole routine was interruped because they all thought that cooked bacon was a snack, instead of something that I just cooked extra of for my next breakfast (it might help you to know that these are my step-children from my wife’s first marrieage).

But I went along with this, just pleasantly reminding them that I liked bacon with the eggs I cooked for my breakfast, while the were all asleep and I was beginning my day.

After a while, they realized that the fact of not snacking on the cooked bacon became gift to me for my mornings. And today, this morning, I had bacon.

I had faith that change would happen, even if it was slow to appear.

You are in control of the enviroment around you, even if you think you aren’t.

If you have learned one thing from your life experiences so far it is that there is always daylight at the end of the tunnel, at the end of the experience you have there is an ending, which is really a transition period to the next event/adventure that is starting.

You are in control of your life as it happens, in real time. And only if you give up that control are you lost, but you have the strength (I know you do after all you found me!), and the tools, to never be lost.

To never be lost again.