The Modern Siren

It’s easy to feel down about our relationships. “I’m not being loved enough” or “My marriage is boring” are both common themes that run through our lives at various times.

But when this happens it signals that you have surrendered control of your relationship to some unseen and depressive force.

Getting back control, and keeping it, doesn’t happen with a few spoken words or a simple loving gesture, controlling your relationship for the betterment of the both of you is a major step and a life changing force. It really is.

First you need to define why you feel your relationship is in the gutter. What has happened, or what is not happening, that makes you feel this way?

Is this something you can work at alone or do you need the support of your partner to make positive change in your relationship?

Now, be careful how you answer the above question. It’s easy to push the responsibility of a good relationship onto your partner but often the answer relies on you making small changes that change the entirety of your relationship and move the both of you into a renewed level of love and respect.

Only you have the control of how you approach your relationship and how you enrich both of your lives. Use that control to make the change needed.

During the life of a relationship, one that endures past the six month mark, and one that manifests itself into a marriage, space can develop between the couple.

It’s not tangible, but it is space, a changing of the path of each person, some call this a “drifting away”.

Drifting away is an angry term, one that provides excuses for not trying to save the relationship because it is drifting away and your partner is becoming out of reach.

“Reach” is what you had when the relationship blossomed into something strong, something that withstood the minor disagreements and arguments that interfered, just a little, and were either solved or smoothed over.

You never lose “reach” you just forget to stretch out your arms to hug the other person.

I want you to practice hugging.

My wife and I have a morning ritual that involves a hug and several kisses and an “I love you” that starts our day and keeps us aware of our commitment when the day is new.

For the next while, start this ritual of reaching out and embracing your partner, there’s always time for a little closeness and an “I love you” to begin your day.

A small step towards reconnecting that may lead to a major shift in communicating more with your partner.