Can you remember what started your desire to be in a relationship with a particular man?
Looking back and comparing to where you are now in your relationship offers insights, that unless recognized, can cause your relationship needs to be in conflict with what is really happening between the two of you.
The stages of relationships and their needs being met can be described as:
- Comfort and Safety
This relationship need is what sparks everything else to happen. Without the flame of attraction there can be no sustainable fiery passion. This is not be be confused with a simple fling or a friends-with-benefits arrangement that does not have a future and does not fulfill your relationship requirements, even if you are unsure what they are at the time.
Relationships are a partnership that shines status and power on both of you. As sure as others see you as a couple, they instinctively assign a status to the power you both have to influence how people see you individually and as a couple. This power of your relationship status determines how you interact with others, under what conditions you are included or excluded and how others behave around you.
It’s interesting when you start to dissect individual things that have happened between you both and others and see how the attitudes that are perceived about your relationship direct how you influence people and how you are influenced in turn.
Understanding this power dynamic of status in your relationship can help you to better communicate your needs to your partner and those in your social circle.
If nothing happens in your relationship, it withers. The days become the same, boredom sets in and you grow apart.
Just by doing things together, having adventures, attraction grows. I don’t mean going on an African safari, adventure is simply doing something with your partner that you would not do alone. Adventure fulfills your relationship needs by adding fresh events into your life as a couple.
This can be as simple as trying a new restaurant regularly, exploring the art world together, or anything else that, even ever so slightly, expands your knowledge and viewpoint of the world around you.
Comfort and Safety
We all crave comfort and safety as a prerequisite relationship need. When you are comfortable with your partner, you have a safe place to be, whenever you are with them. Even just knowing that when you are apart you will soon be together again, fulfills this need.
As an example, think of going to work in the morning and returning home at the end of the day, how knowing that you have a partner and a place to return to makes you feel.
As you think about your true relationships needs you’ll discover more about yourself and what you need to have, and support, a truly rewarding and loving relationship.
Continue discovering what your relationship needs are by reading:
- Finding Your True Emotional Intimacy
- Why You Need to Date Many to Find Your One
- About Becoming a Modern Siren